(I have written a note to each of my college bound children and slipped it into their luggage to be found presumably sometime after my wife and I have bid them farewell.  This is an excerpt from the note I left for my son last week.  I thought I’d share it with my 5 or 6 readers…  )

Here’s a little bit of advice and a little bit of what I wish for you in your years at school and for your years to follow.

First, naturally, the advice.

Once you have a reputation for getting up early it’s amazing how often you can sleep late. I got that from my father. It’s the best advice he ever gave me. It means always make a great first impression. Shake hands. Look people in the eye. Be the first to smile. The first to show up for class, work or practice. Be one of the people who say, how can I help?

Learn the art of conversation. Take interest in the lives – past and future – of others and ask them lots and lots of questions. Get used to using the words who, what, where, when, why and how. The person who asks the questions and listens best is always the most interesting person in the room. He or she is also the person others seek out as friends.

Find a mentor on campus. An upper classman. A teacher. A counselor. Find people who are smarter than you, who play sports better than you, who are funnier than you, who have read more, and who are honest, kind, thoughtful, ethical and moral people, and keep them close.  They’ll all make you better.

Have the courage of your convictions. Learn how to debate.   Disagree and let others disagree with you. Read. Take a literature class. Learn to write cursive. Take a poetry class. Learn the history of this country and the world.

Laugh! Laugh a lot! Be silly. Find silly people you can laugh with.

My wishes?  I wish for you a sense of wonder about the world around you. This is an exciting time for you, a time when you will be given wonderful opportunities. I hope you are curious to learn not only from the books and classroom, but from the people you meet, the things you see, and the places you go. Philadelphia! What a city! I hope you develop an intellectual curiosity and keep your mind open to the possibilities of life. Explore your interests – maybe it is engineering, maybe it’s law, maybe it’s business, maybe it is the business of Hollywood – and explore them on your own. Take risks. Challenge yourself. When you are afraid or nervous, that means you are challenging your comfort zone. That’s a good thing. You’ll make mistakes. That’s ok. Be prepared to make them and relish them – in making those mistakes, you will find the things and the people you will love and keep close for the rest of your life. You’ll find your passion.

Be safe and sensible. Don’t let other people make your social decisions for you. You’ll know what’s right and what’s wrong. Trust yourself and your instincts.

Be at home with yourself. Find quiet places to reflect. Church. If you’re lucky you might a Father Tom. Go to museums. Find a patch of grass.  Visit the symphony on campus. The theatre. The library. At those times, leave the phone alone. Stop and smell the roses. Learn to live with silence.

Every so often, give me and mommy and your sisters some time. The one thing I always wanted to be was a dad. It’s a gift to have children. You are one of ours. Our son. Our brother. We treasure our time with you. Answer our silly group texts. Better still, call us. Your sisters are wonderful sources of counsel and hugs. I hope I am too. Mommy too. Come see us. There will always be big hugs and a good dinner waiting for you. We’ll certainly come see you. Tell us when you need a visit or a weekend home. It’s ok to miss home, by the way. Everyone around you will. It’s also ok to get emotional and to share your thoughts, good and bad, with any of us. We’re family.

Exercise. Eat properly.  Please go out for the clubs that revolve around sports or subjects in which you have the vaguest interest. You’ll meet people with whom you’ll share some small something. That’s really hard to find anywhere let alone at a college the size of the one you are attending.

Finally, and maybe most important of all, be a good man. I have always tried to be that. Your grandfather is that. I believe it is the one thing we can aspire to and succeed at on our own. You are already well on your way.

Did I say, have fun? Have fun. Did I say, laugh? Laugh a lot.

There is so much for me to say and I have said too much here. But there is one last thing I have to tell you. I am so proud of you. So is your mother. And so are your sisters. I love you so much. So do your mother and your sisters. We are excited to watch you continue to grow and become the man and the person we know you can be. And no matter where you are or what you are doing, I will be with you. Forever. We will all be.

I love you, Dad